Distance and Time
by lanatic
Summary: Adopted by Vampires James & Victoria, Bella is warned away from their dangerous world. What happens to Bella when she takes the leap, but was she pushed by Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock? Non-twi vamps, OOC, AU
1. Spider's Web

Merry Christmas! It's been snowing over here – it would get washed away by rain the day before Christmas. Yeah, just our luck. Aw well, I hate snow :3.

Ok, so I suck at summaries and shit so sorry if the summary sucks… maybe the story even sucks? Ya never know. A big thumbs up to Project Team better who picked up on all the grammatical errors I never even noticed :) thanks! Also, these vampires are sort of a cross between a lot of vampire stories I've read before. Some of you may notice similarities here between these and the 'true blood' vampires – yeah I read the books. Also, I took some of the ideas from this kind of freaky Manga I read once, also a book that I bought my little brother called vampirates that I got bored and read.

**

* * *

Spider's web - Jamie T.**

_Caught in a Spider's web,  
It's not the first time playing dead,  
they know something, oh well we're running,  
I know they'll catch up in the end._

_In the hustle and the bustle I feel  
I'm in trouble and I trip and then I stumble,  
I feel myself fall in the hustle and the bustle  
It's too rough I tumble in the gravel and the rubble can you hear me call?_

_

* * *

  
_

It was a bright August day as Bella started her own life. She didn't like being around so many strangers, with the staring that seemed to follow her like she had done something wrong.

But nobody could know about her secret.

She tried to smile at her roommate in her new, sparse room. She was a pretty girl of the same age, who was kind to her and hadn't questioned her nocturnal activity.

She was tired and bleary eyed, her sleeping pattern hadn't gotten any better. Three hours of sleep per night was not enough to keep a person awake all day, and the days only seemed to get longer as she slept less. The guilt seemed to be gnawing at her, stopping her from the rest she so desperately needed.

"Bella, you look awful!" Victoria scowled as the tired girl stepped through the door of her old home.

"Hi, Vic. You look gorgeous," she told Victoria, unsurprised about the fact, also noting the cheery Christmas decoration. Victoria took her bags with a sad smile and a pat on her head, carrying them away in strong arms.

"We kept your room just how you like it!" She called from above, and James appeared from the basement.

"Bells, god we've missed you!" he called as he moved fast towards her, arms wide and face smiling as he grabbed the girl in a ferocious grip and hugged her tight to him. Bella smiled wearily, the smile more enthusiastic than before as she returned the hug, her arms reaching around to hold his strong back. She inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of home for the first time in a long while.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?" Victoria stated, seemingly appearing out of thin air at the bottom of the stairs. Her hand was grasping the white banister as she stepped at a normal speed towards the pair as they disentangled from each other's arms.

"Not very well," She stated, avoiding her theories as to why. James and Victoria were ushering her into the family room, their cold hands seemingly warm on her feverish flesh.

"You're hot."

"I'm always hot to you two," she smirked, the smile again not reaching her drooping eyes, seeming to mirror her stooped posture.

James shook his head, his clammy hand reaching for her forehead. "Bella, you've got a fever."

"Fuck," Bella groaned, annoyed by her ill health at the cheery time of year.

"Language! We taught you better than that. Come on, let mommy look after you." Victoria smiled as James gathered their little girl in their arms and carried her upstairs to her room.

Bella smiled as they produced her pajamas, working quickly as a team, and left her alone to change, before returning and passing her Ibuprofen and a… bucket of water.

She sighed. They never got human portions right. She was cheered by the gesture, showing how much they really cared, even though she never really doubted it. She felt safe, safe from any monsters that may be lurking in the dark night, or even the light.

James stroked her forehead, soothing her skin and tucking her up, like they did when she first came to them, and then sat by her on the bed, keeping a hand on her and keeping her cool.

Bella's breathing deepened, and James left her there, deeply asleep and walked downstairs to Victoria.

"Call him. She's not well." Victoria nodded and picked up the phone.

***

Bella awoke to a gentle shaking. Victoria was sitting at her side, Bella's head in her lap, and her hands on her forehead, stroking her.

"Someone's here to see you, Bella," she whispered, ceasing with the persistent shaking. Bella groaned and sat up, her body soaked in her own sweat. She grimaced and reached down to peel the top away from her hot skin. She felt disgusting, ready to crawl out of her own skin to escape the horrible feeling. She'd slept fitfully, searing in even her dreams.

Her breathing sped up as she noted an impressive figure standing in the doorway, his broad chin and his narrow nose, his Grecian cheek bones and tousled hair that couldn't have been naturally styled. James ushered him in, looking tiny compared to the hulking figure that was her visitor. He looked gorgeous in a professional way, in slacks and shirt, a long dark winter coat, and broad shoulders that tapered down to a slim waist. She was under no illusions that all three of the sharp pairs of eyes in the room noticed her perusal of the beautiful man in front of her, inhumanly beautiful. Bella sighed, a man like that would never be interested in, her. She was Bella Swan, abandoned by even her own parents. She couldn't bring herself to care about how _dawn of the dead _she invariably looked. She was sick, she was allowed to look like shit.

He smiled gently at her. "I hear you're sick, Bella." Bella's smile dropped as she realized he was talking to her like she was a child.

"Ok, let's check your temperature," he said, his voice slipping like velvet over her skin.

He produced a thermometer from his bag and sat down on the edge of her bed, passing his long coat to Victoria, whose bony hand was already extended. He then proceeded to ask her what was wrong, although she found it hard to answer with a thermometer in her mouth.

"Don't worry, answer me in a minute." He smiled, patting her hand as she nodded slowly, tongue rebelling from the foreign feeling of the thin stick of the thermometer under her tongue. She was scared as to what he was going to find.

It made a sharp beeping noise, startling her from her musings and the doctor swiftly removed it. He checked the temperature and his face frowned.

"You have a bad temperature, Bella. You're going to have to stay in here and sweat it out. Now, have you had any other problems?"

"I've been more tired than usual... but unable to sleep." He nodded, gesturing for her to carry on. "I've had a sore throat for longer than usual, and a bit of a cold I think. I didn't realize it was that bad..."

"No, no, Bella, it's not bad. Were there any times of the month that you were more tired than usual?" He hinted.

She blushed. "I suppose."

"And that would be?"

"Um. When I had my period." She looked away awkwardly, averting her eyes from her adoptive parents who smirked at her.

"Bella, I think you could be anemic. If you've been sick for longer than usual, it could indicate something being wrong with you're immune system. Bella, have you been giving blood?" Bella's eyes shot up to his, who were looking at her expectantly, asking her for more information than she had to give in present company.

James and Victoria were both startled by Edward's words. "Bella wouldn't ever do anything like that, she knows how dangerous it is," James said smoothly, convinced by the truth in his words. Bella closed her eyes guiltily, because she was a disappointment. Would they throw her away? Like the shadowy figures that flitted through her memory, Renee and Charlie Swan, the former inhabitants of Forks, Washington? She remembered her father, Charlie, telling him he loved her. She remembered his silly little moustache that she'd hated as a child, it always tickled when he kissed her cheek as she left for school. Her biological mother had been distant, she'd been there always, but too far away. Bella had always tried to make her happy, but whenever she touched her, Renee's beautiful, youthful face had flinched away from her. Bella was used to being despised by people she loved, but she couldn't be hated by Victoria and James, they had taken her in when she was a lost little girl, clumsy and tripping over her own two feet. She'd grown up already, she was eight when Renee had given her away like a doll she didn't want anymore. She could remember the last look on her angelic face as she'd thrown her away.

Bella's eyes flitted between James and Victoria's still faces. They were too still, frozen and not under the charade of humanity anymore. Their fierce gazes were settled on her. Sad with all the years they'd lived alone, unable to give each other what they'd always wanted in their human life. Edward was shifting uncomfortably to his other foot, as Bella's eyes moved to him, begging him with her eyes wide to not tell them, she wanted them to still love her. _Please. _

"Bella, I need to know." His face was set strangely, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were tight, he looked at her as if disappointed, as if he was her father. But no, her father didn't want her. Her father _lied._ Edward kneeled down on the floor beside her bed, his eyes going from fiery to imploring as his knees touched ground. "Listen, Bella. Tell me." His voice was hypnotizing, but she ignored it easily, her face set defiantly.

"Bella. _I. Will. Use. Force," _He gritted his perfect teeth, nostrils flaring indignantly at her ignoring his answer. His eyes were aflame again with anger and possessiveness that confused Bella. Bella stared into his eyes unwavering, she wasn't scared by him. His hands reached for the collar of her pajama top, pulling it away, revealing too much hot skin. Bella didn't move to stop him because she knew she couldn't. Her eyes were closed in shame; she didn't want to see Victoria and James' faces as they discovered what their only daughter did at night.

Edward's hands moved to pull her arm from under the comforter. He growled as her muscles stiffened unconsciously, giving away it's dark secret. The muscles loosened as Bella noticed the tensing, letting him pull up her top above her elbow forcefully, almost ripping it. Bella held in a cry of pain as he yanked her arm towards him, turning it around as he searched for the telltale marks.

He hissed when he found them.

"Who Bella?" he asked. She didn't open her eyes to see the wounded look, the disappointed little grimace that would sit there on their perfect faces. The same look that they'd had the first time she'd gotten drunk and the first time she'd tried smoking, and every other teenage first she'd had. Their fiercely loyal and protective nature was a curse as much as it was a blessing.

"Fuck. _You!_" she snarled defiantly, finally opening her eyes to stare unwaveringly into his heated green orbs. His fangs had appeared from their hiding place and she didn't move to look at either of her parents. She didn't need to see their looks of shame as she faced off a beautiful vampire. She didn't need to hear their thoughts to know the many ways they were planning on torturing the poor man who'd showed her things she wouldn't ever wish to forget.

His long fingers grazed the inflamed skin of the puncture wound. She struggled not to flinch, showing a kink in her armor that she didn't want him to see.

"Edward, stop!" James hissed, crossing the room in a single stride. "I think you should leave, we need to speak to Bella alone." Edward dipped his head, breaking my gaze reluctantly before standing, taking his coat and leaving in a swish of cool air and black fabric.

"Why, Bells? Why would you put yourself in danger like that?" she pleaded, looking deep into her daughters eyes. James was pacing the room predatorily, his hand fisted into his short, blonde hair.

"Yeah, Bella, why the _fuck _would you do something like that? I'm going to kill that fucking piece of dirt, Bella, tell me his fucking name." James shouted, spinning on Bella. A sob burst from her chest. She _knew _they would be angry at her. James' voice held no inch of love in it, nothing but anger that she'd done this, let some… some man _defile _her in that way.

"Shh... baby," Victoria cooed, stroking the opposite arm, and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. James and Victoria shared a worried glance, close to tears that they couldn't shed that their only daughter couldn't tell them that this was what she wanted.

"Tell us what happened," James asked in a low, comforting voice, still stroking her long hair, running his long fingers through the dark tresses.

"I... I wanted to try it, so I went... I went and I found one of your friends." Her small voice belied her fear, not for herself, for Jasper. James and Victoria held in their questions of 'who', and let her continue her story. "He said he'd do it... And then I just couldn't stop giving..." Bella looked away, ashamed of her night time habits and looked into the eyes of the parents who had looked cared for her for nine years.

"Come on, baby, who was it?" Bella bit her lip and looked into Victoria's eyes. They were vicious where she was concerned, and she didn't want him to get hurt. She shook her head, eyes closed.

"Tell us!" James commanded, his voice enticing. Bella shook her head again, eyes closed tight. Her hands moved to clamp over her ears. Victoria caught her hands, and whispered the same thing in a soft voice.

They talked in unison, their voices hypnotizing, sweet and tempting.

She opened her eyes and refused to tell them. Victoria and James hissed, disappearing from the room faster than her eyes could see. She shook her head, upset, and sobbing into her little hands.

She fell asleep curled onto her big, double bed, dreaming of the first night of many.

***

"Hi, uh, are you there Jasper? It's Bella." She said into the intercom.

"Come on up, Bella," came the smooth reply from the other end, her heart was beating fast, and her hand was fisted around the silver chain in her hand. There was a buzz as the door clicked open, and she pushed the heavy metal door forward.

She suddenly felt at ease as she approached the door with a number thirteen hanging in scratched gold lettering. She knocked on the door, aware that Jasper was controlling how she felt, and unsure as to how she felt about that. She stifled a little giggle at the irony of that thought, obviously Jasper couldn't control every feeling.

The door was open before her hand had moved further than an inch from the door.

"Come in, Bella," Jasper spoke calmly, gesturing with his hand towards the warm glow emanating from behind him. He looked beautiful, his messy blonde hair shadowing his grey blue eyes. He had on a tight t-shirt which accentuated the tempting planes of his chest (which she definitely appreciated), and a loose checkered shirt over his shoulders. Her eyes wandered appreciatively down his body towards the tight jeans and shoes he wore.

She stepped inside confidently brushing Jasper with the length of her body. She passed Jasper her coat and placed the silver into her jean pocket, sure she wouldn't need it. She entered into a warm feeling hallway, due to the few different light sources, all switched on in an effort to make the house seem less brooding. It was papered in a dark geometric pattern that her eyes found hard to follow. She looked away down the hallway, making sure to only look at the wallpaper from the corner of her eye, there were several dark, wood doors branching off the doorway, and she briefly wondered if he lived alone.

Jasper put a hand on the small of her back to show her the way, daringly familiar, but Bella didn't shy away, feeling strangely seductive as she walked where he guided her.

"Here. Take a seat," Jasper sang, guiding her onto a sofa. "Can I get you anything to eat? Drink?"

"White wine, if you have it, please," Bella smiled, crossing her legs and leaning against the armrest by her side. Jasper nodded and disappeared for a minute. He returned with a wine glass filled with pale liquid. He sat down on the opposite side of the sofa and wrapped his long legs around himself.

"So, Bella, why do you want to do this?" He asked his eyes sharp and looking for any signs of hesitation. Bella could tell he was looking for the truth, so she didn't hesitate before telling him.

"I want to try it,"

"Oh, ok. Why me? What if I suck you dry before you can even scream for help?" He leered, his eyebrow raised. Bella didn't feel a flash of fear like she should have; maybe she had a pathetic sense of self preservation. Maybe there was something wrong with her.

She just smiled and said, "I'm sure James and Victoria would be pissed. You know how they are," Bella stated, cocking her head to the side, making sure he understood her thinly veiled threat. Jasper's seawater eyes glittered with mirth.

"Touché, now… where would you like to do this?" he asked, his hands gesturing as if the world were her oyster. Oh, how she wished it was. "I usually… Well Alice and I usually… in the bedroom," he smirked; Bella just grinned and stood, waiting for him to lead the way. She put the empty wine glass down on the small coffee before she moved fluidly after Jasper, her usual quiet, thoughtful self left somewhere behind before the alcohol and Jasper's charming attributes. She knew that on some level she was doing this for self validation, proving that she was wanted and desirable and she also knew that this was also, on another level a childish act of teenage rebellion, and on every other level, she was just curious as to what this was like.

He opened the door in front of her, and the door opened onto a room seemingly completely filled by the bed against the far wall. Jasper closed the door behind him, and moved towards her in a graceful lope, his blue grey eyes focused on the pulsing just above Bella's left breast. His eyes danced hungrily between her neck and her heart pounding away, her beat getting faster as Jasper imparted his emotional state onto Bella. It was a mixture of want and lust; both completely different things to him. He wanted what only Bella had to give, the completely individual floral musk that her pumping heart sent out, now thickly filling the room, and he lusted after her body, her soft, delicate and fragile body. Bella was lying on the bed now, holding herself up by her dainty elbows, her dark eyes hooded with the feelings Jasper was making her feel.

"Lay down," he breathed, kicking his shoes off as he moved to straddle her. She dropped her elbows, and lay back against the fluffy pillows. Her eyes never once left his, whilst his body moved over her. His long, shaggy blonde hair fell against her face, framing them there, a beautiful picture. They were breathing heavily from each other's mouth's now, vision moving nowhere but the other.

A long finger trailed down her chest, over her shoulder and brushed the crease of her elbow. Bella shivered at the feeling of the beautiful man on top of her touching her so innocently, yet intimately. Her eyes closed as she felt the lust he was feeling reverberate through the room and stroke every part of her body at once. His hands brought her arm to her lips, brushing it softly. His nostrils flared as he breathed in the scent, moving so fast under his fingertips.

"Here?" he whispered, his eyes not moving from watching the blood move through the veins in her arms, tracing its path with dark, lusting eyes. Bella could see his fangs pressing against his bottom lip and moaned, her breath coming in pants as she tried to satisfy all of her body's needs, she tried to push her hips towards his, but his other hand moved to hold onto them.

He gave no warning, other than the uttered question that she never answered, before he bit into the warm flesh at the crease of her elbow.

***

"Happy Christmas, Bells!" Victoria chimed from the kitchen as Bella stepped down the carpeted stairs, her cold nearly completely gone, only leaving her sniffling a little. James was nowhere in sight, probably getting Bella's usual supplies.

Bella was rubbing her dark eyes, unused to this alertness she felt from all the sleep she was getting. Now aware that she needed to feel the safety of home to sleep.

"I'm making you pancakes, how many do you want?" Victoria called as Bella stepped into the living room, sitting down on the sofa and flicking on pointless Christmas television.

"Uhm, four," Bella decided, patting her stomach, enjoying the pampering she got from her parents. Victoria smiled and set to work making the pancakes. Bella was glad they'd left the topic bought up awkwardly by Edward well alone. She could feel something different in the atmosphere; but she didn't care, they still wanted to know her.

"What do you want on them?"

"Sugar and Lemon please!"

"On their way!" Victoria called as she stepped from the kitchen, placing the pancakes on the table in front of her.

James opened the front door just then and stepped in, shaking the snow from his clothes and shoes.

"Got the stuff you needed, Bella!" He called, placing the bag on the counter and rubbing his hands together in front of the open fire, enjoying the warmth from the flames.

"Thanks, Dad! It's snowing? Maybe we should go out later and have a snowball fight," She jumped up and kissed his cheek, whisked into the kitchen and started fiddling around with pots and pans. James and Victoria smiled at each other across the room and called an affirmation to her.

"Bella, come on, presents!" Victoria called. Bella grimaced, hating the amount of money they decided to spend on her, but she indulged them, because, she was, after all their only child.

"Open it!" Victoria thrust a present in front of her.

"Oh, and this!" James said, shoving another neatly wrapped parcel into her lap.

The process went on until the ground was covered in festive wrapping, and beneath the tree was empty of just a few presents for other people, just like when she was a little girl.

She got too many fancy gadgets that nobody could ever possibly need and cute clothes with designer labels that probably cost much more than they were really worth. Although, she opened each one and smiled, giving them a big hug. Bella swapped presents for Victoria and James, and they both opened theirs happily.

Whilst Christmas morning was lovely, Christmas dinner was awkward.

Bella was the only one eating, so she set up her plate and the lentil loaf, chestnut loaf (with which James and Victoria helped greatly by peeling the chestnuts), and some vegetables, the unorthodox Christmas dinner thanks to Bella's vegetarianism. After dinner, they visited friends, swapping presents, and smiling lots. Bella's mouth hurt from the amount of fake smiling she'd done to people she'd met once or twice. The last stop of the night was the good doctor's house. Bella was nervous after his outburst last time they'd met.

He let them in the house with a smile, and a wink at Bella, to which she furiously blushed, her eyes moving away from his pretty face and comely features.

"Merry Christmas!" He clapped Bella on the back, his hand hesitating before moving to hug James and Victoria. Bella barely noticed this as she looked around the small living room with the newly lit fire, the paper still white in some places. Bella smirked as she realized he must have forgotten he would be hosting a human.

"Uh, Bella, what would you like to drink? I have… I think I have some white wine," he worried, fidgeting with his collar as if stifled by the sudden heat.

"I'll take whatever you give," she smiled, feeling self conscious in the new dress that Victoria had insisted she wear. Edward's eyes glinted with something unfathomable as she turned away to sit down politely on the chair.

They sat in the living room, James, Victoria and Edward on the sofa and Bella on the armchair, glass of mulled wine in her petite hand, her legs curled around her little body, conscious of the cold house. The trio seemed to forget Bella was there, finally, after thirty dull minutes of Bella staring into the fire, and fiddling with her brand new phone, Edward turned his eyes towards her, his green orbs dancing with the firelight that lit the room.

"So, Bella, what are you studying?"

"I'm actually studying philosophy and English Lit," She smiled. Her empathy had led her to wanting to learn more about the way other people thought and the actions behind them. Her teenage hideaway had been her mind and her books; her secret world to explore.

"Oh, and any kind of career your looking into?" His curiosity seemed piqued.

"Uh, I was thinking about foreign affairs? Politics and the like… Or journalism, maybe. I like being able to identify what makes people think what they think, and their unconscious assumptions about others," She said, her head bobbing excitedly as she talked about the things that made her love what she learned.

"Ah, I majored in philosophy back in the seventies, and I think I've done English literature three times," he said, smiling. "It's really very interesting. If you ever need help with anything, I'd be happy to give you a hand," He smiled towards her, and they continued talking until it was late and she was yawning.

By the time Bella got home, she was tired, and ready for sleep. But all she could think about was how wonderful it would be for Edward Cullen to suck her dry.

* * *

If you review I'll be reallyyyy happy, and may even write faster. Oh, FYI, this story will move POV's a bit. So, who do you want to suck you dry?


	2. Drumming

_**A/N: Hey guys :) hope y'all had a merry Christmas. I originally had this chapter written, but I had to format my computer and lost ALL of it D: so, yeah, I'm just rewriting it and I haven't put it through my beta because I don't wanna make y'all wait, I've no idea how strict it is in America about like ID and stuff, because I know I could get served over here way before I was like, 18 (which is the legal age here)… but yeahh.**_

_**Drumming – Florence and the Machine**_

_I run to the river and dive straight in  
I pray that the water will drown out the din  
But as the water fills my mouth  
It couldn't wash the echoes out  
But as the water fills my mouth  
It couldn't wash the echoes out_

_I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole  
till there's nothing left inside my soul  
as empty as that beating drum  
but the sound has just begun_

The next time I saw him was New Years Eve.

I'd returned from my grocery shopping to find the house completely different. There was a circular wreath on the front of the door, made of dry wood and dried berries. There was a symbolism there, I thought, a warning to all the living who entered the house. The hallway mirror had a sprig of mistletoe attached to the top, wound into the delicate design. The whole house smelled beautiful, a golden incense burner hung from a corner in the living room, picked up from Victoria and James' time living in the Middle East, it was beautiful and the smell emanating from it was sweet and heavy, infusing the room and the rest of the house with the rich, frankincense smell.

I dropped the groceries on the kitchen table, pulling out the contents and placing them on the table and in the large bowls laid out.

"Hey, Bells. Nice haul," James spoke from behind me – immediately cutting off my very tuneless humming of very cheesy Christmas songs. "Making use of the ID, then?"

"Ha, yeah, they didn't even ask for it, you know how much I love you for it though, don't you?"

"Yeah, makes you feel like a grown up, doesn't it," he said grinning and cuddling me. Giggling into his chest, he was warm from the warm house, and it just brought the lovely smell out all the more. He smelt indescribable, something sharp and homely.

"Bella! What're you wearing tonight?" Victoria asked as she stepped into the kitchen, inspecting each bowl. "Something nice, I hope."

I hadn't even thought about clothes… "Uh, why don't you pick for me?" I asked hesitantly, because I knew it was what she wanted.

"OH! I know just what to dress you in!" She pulled me off by my arm, like her own rag doll. We were in my old room in no time. She was pulling off my top and I didn't even feel self conscious because she'd seen it a million times before.

"The jeans Bella," She sang as she picked a dress off the bed, hoisting it into her arms to easily pull over my head. I put my hands up in the air as she pulled it on over them, just like a little girl again.

She tugged the dress forcefully down my body, the black fabric skin tight and slightly uncomfortable to get into. I was grimacing as I wiggled my hips, trying to pull it down. With one final tug, it was done. I looked at myself in the mirror, almost impressed, as Victoria tied up the back.

"You can't wear a bra with it, though, it ruins the effect," she said, unhooking it at the back, where the back dropped down to the curve of my spine.

I made a huffing noise as I awkwardly tugged it off. Victoria spun me around into the long, full length mirror.

The dress was black and had a lacy-overlay-thing to it. It was beautiful and very flattering to my meagre curves. It was so tight I was worried you'd be able to see my nipples if it got cold. I turned on my bare feet, assessing all the angles and making sure I was happy. It looked amazing on me… and just wow. Victoria disappeared and then returned just as quickly, placing a pair of heels in front of me.

"Thanks, Vicky. What are you wearing?"

She clucked, "Not until your hair and make-up is done!"

I sighed. Sitting down at my vanity she began primping and styling. She tugged on strands of my long, brown hair and plucked hairs from my eyebrows. She was like an artist the way she held her make-up brush, dabbing at her painting that wouldn't turn out nearly as lovely as she hoped.

"Eyes open!"

My eyes shot open and I stared at myself in the mirror, thoroughly amazed at the transformation I had undergone. My lips were red, my pale, white skin was flawless and unblemished, I couldn't even find my chicken pox scar on my forehead, nor could I see the light dusting of freckles across my nose. My hair was parted in the middle, framing my face beautifully, and my eyes were dusted black, complimenting my eyes, making my eyes look vivid in their sockets.

"Thanks, mom," I mumbled, grasping her hand. She smiled at me, and hugged me back, disappearing from the room in a swish of curly red hair and the creaking of hinges.

I stared at the heels left on the floor in front of me, wondering what damage I could possibly do. That was quite a lot of damage that I could do, I would look better, but is vanity a fair price for my dignity? I supposed it was. I supposed Edward would be here.

I smiled at myself in the mirror, suddenly feeling self conscious at how revealing the dress was, there may even have been panty lines, but I couldn't be sure given the intricate lace detailing of the dress. It reached about mid thigh, just long enough to modest, but just short enough to be revealing.

I sat down on my bed, finishing doing the little things.

I wondered who would be here; I knew Edward would be here, he's said as much. I had mixed feelings about him, I may have been undeniably attractive, but he was so intimidating. Physically he couldn't have been older than twenty, twenty-one maybe? But mentally he had experienced things I would probably never in a life time, and who knew what that would be, another sixty, maybe seventy years? I was living in a world of the eternal; it was strange to think of death. I didn't mind dying, as long as I lived long enough to be happy. I would really hate to drown…

I also wondered if Vampires really noticed the passing of time, was this party just a reason for a get together? To mark the first ten years of countless more decades they'd have to endure. It was hard to imagine living that long. James and Victoria had been changed at the height of the British Empire, living in India. A passing vampire had been frightfully hungry, and had taken a nibble on Victoria. James had run him through with his rather dashing silver sword (that was pride of place in our living room, resting on the mantelpiece. A sliver of blood had dropped into poor Victoria's mouth, and she'd undergone the change. She told me it was an odd sensation, and that she'd been barely conscious through the whole ordeal. James had taken her body – as she thought he'd been dead, back to their home. Her maid had been cleaning her neck wound as she'd returned to life, and alas, she'd killed them all. James had heard the commotion and ran to see what was wrong, stricken with grief about the death of his wife, had returned to see her there, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies. She'd fed from him, and they'd run away. She could control her want around him, because she loved him so much. Eventually they'd worked out how to change him, and they lived happily ever after.

Bit of a gory love story, but sweet and romantic it was. I loved hearing them tell it, I loved hearing the stories of how people were changed, for instance, Jasper was changed by a covetous vampire who'd thought he was beautiful during the civil war.

I walked downstairs when I was done, intending on helping with the preparations for any human guests who may come, but as I stepped cautiously into the hallway there was a knock on the door. I stepped towards the door, unsure on the new heels and pulled the door open.

Edward stood there, shifting uncomfortably on the doorstep. His hand held a bottle of white wine, and his other arm was on a beautiful, blonde haired human. She was a fleshy pale, with long, gold hair that seemed to flow down her body. She was young, maybe only a little older than me and petite. She had the face of an angel, and the deep marks on her neck that showed her to be his donor. She was staring at me with piercing blue eyes, and her beautiful arched brow was signalling me to step aside, but I was frozen there.

My face fell from its _welcome to the party _smile, and then suddenly I was blinking back tears as he stepped in the door, greeting me with words that were unintelligible to me. I simply blinked and nodded graciously, whilst trying to hide my strange reaction to the girl on his arm. His arm entwined around her waist the moment the wine was retrieved from his hand, and Victoria and James both suddenly appeared as I pushed the door to. I closed my eyes and leaned back against it.

Edward didn't look back.

What the hell was even wrong with me? Edward wasn't mine. I'd had all of two conversations with him. Was I upset that he'd not warned me that he was taken? That he took his blood from a beautiful girl that outshone me in every single way. I didn't even need to see the happy little smile he levelled with her as he led her down the hallway to know that he was hers.

I jumped as there was another knock on the door. It vibrated my back and sent a shiver along my frame. I opened my eyes and swiftly turned, opening the door again for the stranger I didn't acknowledge. I think the people who knew me knew something was wrong, because Victoria came and took over my post, pointing me towards the kitchen and a large glass of wine. I smiled and nodded through the white noise clouding my ears, because it all seemed to be coming through a filter and being received as if a tiny little voice had spoken it.

Edward had a donor.

Fuck, but I was someone else's, too. How could I be such a hypocrite? But I wasn't really his, was I? I was the equivalent of his little bit on the side. He rang me when his Alice was not enough. I was second in the line, always it seemed, because I could not have misread Edward's protectiveness before? I'd never met him and yet he was disgusted I'd given someone else my blood. I'd known, in my bones that he was _right._

I guess my bones were wrong. My whole body was wrong, I was not meant for this skin, or this life.

I reached into the cupboard for something for the sudden pounding in my head; the repetitive noise as if someone was thrumming on my heart strings and the echo resounding in my mind.

I was so pathetic. I'd talked to him twice.

I moved into the living room with my glass of wine, aware that mixing headache pills with alcohol was stupid. Maybe I'd get drunk quicker. Maybe I'd die.

What the hell, there was a doctor here, right?

So I mingled in between warm and cold bodies that were pulsating to a soft beat, and humming with the buzz of conversation. If I got drunk enough, maybe I'd not have to watch Edward and his girl swing their hips in time to the music, or mutter in each other's ears. Or even have to watch Jasper talking to some other human girl.

"Hey baby girl," Jasper purred into my ear as he appeared before me. I'd missed the whole movement, maybe a long pass in time, because I was on my third glass of wine and I think the headache pills were fucking with my mind.

"Hey Jas. Where's Alice?" I asked sourly.

"Alice? Where'd that come from? You know that she doesn't know about you," He spoke into my ear, pressing his body against my back in the throb of vampires losing themselves to the music. Most of the humans seemed to be gathered in one corner, seemingly afraid of the undulating bodies that were moving sometimes too fast for the eye to follow.

"Yeah, I'm not retarded, and you know what, I wish I didn't know about her," I said as I moved away from him smoothly, surprised by my agility in this state as well as the heels.

I wasn't surprised for long though, my foot slipped from underneath me, the plastic heel not having any hold on the hard wood floor, and went crashing down. My glass dropped from my hand and shattered before I hit the floor.

Fuck.

My hand fell on top of the shattered glass, and now I could feel every vampire in the room moving towards me, as my palm slapped the floor, several pieces of glass forced their way under my skin, and I cried out in pain. My hand slipped on the wine, smearing blood against the dark wood. I fell against the floor, more splinters cutting at my skin.

I heard something smack against the wall, and I looked up to see myself ringed by figures.

"Hold your breath! Hold your _breath!" _screamed Victoria, her voice high and terrified. There were humans running screaming from the Vampires who were either lunging for me, or one of them.

James and Victoria were fierce, I could see their faces as they moved fluidly together, keeping everything away from me. I closed my eyes as I saw blood splatter against the wall, and tucked my cut arm into my body. The alcohol had made its way into a few of the cuts, and it stung like hell.

I could hear every kind of sound, crashes, snarls, screams.

The stupidest thing to ever pass through my mind in a moment of danger passed through my mind right then. _What will the neighbours think? _And fucking hell – I'd put every human in a ten mile radius in danger. Probably more than that, it was my fault that there people hurting now. But fuck, my arm stung. I groaned as my body leaned against it heavily, but there was blood flying everywhere, and if any of it got into my body, I was screwed.

I wanted children.

I didn't want to be a vampire. I was so scared and in pain at that moment, that I think I must have blacked out, not before I heard a scream and Edwards voice screaming a name that wasn't my own.

How selfish was I?

***

I awoke, warm and cosy in my big fluffy bed. When I tried to move my arm, it stung like hell and my eyes were glued shut. My mouth felt dry and disgusting, and all I wanted was a drink and to brush my teeth, before I won the fight with my eyes to open, and found a pair of seawater blue ones looking deep into my own, keeping a silent vigilante over me.

"Bella, fuck, you gave us such a fright," Jasper sighed, taking my good hand in his own.

"I'm sorry. Is everyone ok?" I asked, worried about the scream I remembered just as I drifted off to sleep.

"Not really. Rose was attacked by one of the Vampire's. Edward had to change her," he admitted, rubbing his large hand over his face tiredly.

My heart probably missed a beat then. It should have been me. Fuck, I was such an idiot, such a self-pitying idiot. Edward wasn't mine, he was hers and her heart wouldn't beat anymore, couldn't beat anymore. It was still and I bet she was ten times more beautiful now. Maybe she was vain, maybe she had a gift, there had to be some upside to this, something that made her not hate me.

But I felt it in my lying, cheating bones that she would hate me.

I threw the covers from me and ran down stairs. I heard Jasper follow me as I tripped down the stairs, the clattering of my feet muffled by the carpet. I was in the living room, the scene of the crime, and I saw her, lying beautiful on the sofa. Her hair splayed around her head, and she was asleep. She looked different, and, as if smelling me, the cause of this, her eyes flashed open, and they were full of hatred.

_**Dum de dum! :D The next update will be out as fast as I can write it. Please review, you have no idea how much it makes me want to write. This chapter I personally think is 10x better than the first. And I totally didn't even originally plan to have Rose in this story, but my fingers just started writing. Couldn't help it, blame the fingers!**_


	3. Uh Oh

_**A/N:** I normally hate repetition, but this is sort of important, and I kind of wanted you to get Edward's view of the whole situation.. I promise, it'll only happen when necessary to cover stuff. The image from the picture (without J, B & V) is on my profile :D, oh fyi, I also make banners, there'll be a link on my profile to the thread in a bit ;D_

**Disclaimer: **I'm trying to think of anything I own _less_ than twilight.... Stepho Meyer, thank you very much for these awesome characters.

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* * *

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**Uh Oh – Taken by Cars**  
_Cold heart  
Cold, cold hands  
I think I'm beginning to understand  
Automatic flash point I see you  
across the __floor

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_

I smelt blood; my senses were rolling in the smells - vampire blood, human blood, pooling on the floor, dripping from the four walls.

It struggled to keep myself away from the girl lying there on the floor. Her blood was the most delicious scent, some kind of citrus, oranges maybe, tinged with the stench of alcohol and some type of medication. It smelt like headache pills – Aspirin? I was annoyed that I hadn't noticed the smell before, the mix. I'd been avoiding Bella all night, concentrating instead on Rose.

I pushed a dark skinned man away from me, while jamming his mouth shut with a punch to his jaw. He hit the wall with a dull thudding sound and leaving a faint imprint on the wall. Immediately he regained his footing and fled the room. Another Vampire fled after him, and I kept my mind on the vampires running at the girl behind me. The dark skinned man I'd just pushed away was following a familiar scent.

Fuck.

He had caught a blonde girl as she fled from the house into the park across the street. I recognised the smell. He'd caught Rose. I didn't hear myself call her name; I heard it in the minds of the others. I tried to control my anger as I sprinted from the room, to hold in the anger that he'd touched her. He knew she was with me; he'd taken Rose because she was forbidden fruit.

I had no guilt as I moved away from the silly bleeding girl; however I immediately missed the scent of Bella's blood when I breathed in Rose's blood on the air. She smelt like sweat and fear. He jammed a hand into her chest, pushing her onto the cold ground. Her ribs snapped audibly and I flinched at her pain. Through his eyes I saw as he crouched over her on the dark floor, the pulsing vein in her throat making his mouth water, saliva rushing into his dry mouth. He thought she was beautiful, he wanted her blood and he wanted her. I would have retched if I could have as he bit into hard into her soft neck, his fangs pressing down into the blood vessel, and started sucking. Rose tried to call out but he had a hand over her mouth, crushing her skull into the ground.

Rose was struggling against his body as he tried to manoeuvre his jeans down.

Rose couldn't go through that again. My breath was coming in sharp gasp of panic as I listened to her mind. She could feel his hands on her legs, running over her body in places that this disgusting man shouldn't ever touch. She was despairing, calling my name over and over again in her mind. I wanted to tell her I was coming, that she'd be ok, that this monster wasn't there, that it was all a dream. All I could hear her think was that there was nobody here to save her this time. Her tears were running trails down her cheeks, and she was thinking of everything she'd never get to see again. I had to get there in time. My legs were taking great strides, eating up the asphalt as I approached the Park where he'd caught Rosalie. I could hear Rose's horrified, muffled cries as he gulped at her red, juicy blood. I could smell it, see it seeping from the wound, pooling in the dirt and melting the ice.

The image brought back memories of when I was younger. I was a hypocrite for judging this hungry monster. How many people had I done this to? I didn't want to think – didn't want to justify my own actions, but I did. I'd heard their terrified thoughts as they died. I thought that my gift allowed me to pick and choose the people who needed to die, but the people I killed had lives, I hadn't even needed to kill them. They all had people who depended on them, and what frightened me most was that their thoughts were so very similar to Rose's right were in that moment.

But there had been the disgusting ones, who thought bitterly as they died. The ones who wished they could make last minute amendments to their will, and some of the murderers regretted it in the end, most didn't. The rapists, the fraudsters, petty criminals, serial killers… even though I'd rid the world of bad people, I'd burnt up my own goodness with it. As long as I'd lived, I'd had a lot of time to regret what I'd done.

I'd be there before her heart stopped beating, but this gave me no reassurance. I rounded the last corner to where she lay. The man, hovering over her, had just managed to pull himself free from his pants and was in the process of pulling Rose's dress up.

In Rose's mind, a sequence I didn't want to see was running through her head. I couldn't block it out. Her breath was coming in short, harsh, pants through the fingers of the man on top of her. Her hair was a mess with dry leaves and dirt mashed into the knotted platinum tendrils, turning it a dirty blonde. Her hands were scratching at his skin, leaving bloody trails but not seeming to affect him.

I turned the corner and in a shot I was there, tearing at his shirt, a growl ripping from my chest and infusing the silent night air. He looked up at me, blood trickling from between his dark lips; it dripped down onto his white shirt, which glowed against his dark skin in the bright moonlight. I threw him away like the piece of shit he was. I felt the sharp lash of pain as he hit the ground, the crunch and snap of his wrist and the quick realignment of bones as he healed again. He had no intention of returning; he knew who I was and didn't want to play around with me.

Good.

Rose's eyes were wide, her eyes staring at mine, but relief was slowly filtering through the haze of pain in her mind, the panic slowly returning to its carefully locked away box, shut off in her mind, separate from herself.

"Thank you," she muttered, her blue eyes closing and a sigh misting on her lips, the wet breath coming from her mouth and freezing as it touched the air. Her eyes fluttered open and I knew the question she was about to ask. I allowed her to speak, "Am I going to die?" Her forehead creased as if vexed by the thought.

I couldn't even imagine death. I suppose that when I was changed I'd been close to death, but I don't remember my human life; it faded as the years passed, the years spent in the cramped little flat, the smoke from the factories seeping into our clothes.

"I can save you…" I said, unsure whether I should do it. Rose was vain; she'd love being a Vampire – she'd be beautiful. But Rose wanted a lot of things in life that only her humanity could bring. If she passed out now and I made the decision for her, she may hate me forever, and Rosalie Hale's vengeance was not something I wanted to deal with on a daily basis. Her heart thudded gently, its pace slowing and telling me that time was short. Her breathing stuttered and she coughed up blood.

He'd punctured a lung as he'd thrown her to the floor. She'd suffocate – drown in her own blood. If she wanted to die, I would kill her quickly; to die this way would be unimaginably painful. I owed her that much.

I couldn't believe I'd offered this. I'd promised myself to never kill again.

"Please," she gasped, her eyes closing as she blacked out from the pain she was in.

I took a bite from my wrist, tearing at the strangely textured flesh – soft but oddly solid – and watched the blood trickle from my cut into her mouth. I checked her over, adjusting her skirt. She had some scrapes, and I could smell the blood on her breath as she breathed out.

I lifted her head up, making her more comfortable, allowing the trickle of blood to drip down her neck. The cut sealed itself, and I again bit down, the blood returning to trickle down her throat.

Humans changed because of an allergic reaction to our blood; which a sort of poison to humans. The poison killed them, and the virus in the blood attacked the nervous system, turning them into strange, twisted creatures that had been called Vampires for hundreds of years. In twelve hours, Rose would be one of us. But I didn't like what I was doing to her, I was guilty of many things, but I'd never been a maker. I'd never felt the need for companionship. I had my family, why did I need someone dependent on me? Rose would become the vampire equivalent of a child, but I owed Rose so much. I hadn't been there to save her from this before. I'd been wracked with guilt over that, and this time I'd saved her, only to kill her again.

I picked her body up and flitted back to the house with her, pondering what she would be like as a Vampire as I ran. Fierce and intimidating, I decided, and she would undoubtedly be beautiful. If she had a talent, I wasn't sure what it would be, but Rose being Rose, it would be something obscure and amazing, decidedly brilliant and out of the blue, because that was what she was. On the outside, you'd imagine she was fake, just like every other blonde. But her icy blue eyes betrayed her uniqueness. They seemed to burn like fire in some light and revealed so much of her fierce intelligence, loyalty and strength. The beauty was a lure; men were drawn to her, and that wasn't ever a good thing.

She'd be a brilliant Vampire, I decided, but it would take her time to adjust. I knew she wanted children, but she could always look into adoption like James and Victoria and several other Vampire-Vampire and sometimes even Vampire-Human couples had done. It was hard for me to understand, as I'd never wanted children, and never met anyone I wanted that kind of partnership with, let alone have children with.

I was listening to Rose's heartbeat, paying attention for any signs of change. It was a dangerous change to undergo; sometimes the body simply gave up, but I could never imagine that of Rose.

I knocked on the navy blue door lightly, supporting Rosalie's weight with my knee. Carlisle ushered me into the house, holding the door open for me as I carried Rosalie between my arms into the hallway. A corpse bride. James was waiting and he directed me towards the lounge and the comfy looking brown couch. The room was conspicuously clean – we must have been gone longer than I'd thought. It smelt slightly of bleach and the still burning Frankincense. The collapsed table was nowhere in sight, no shards of wood littering the floor, nor glass from the broken black and white picture of James, Victoria and Bella giggling and perched together on a pretty beach somewhere that looked lovely and relaxing. The sea was lapping against the shore, and the sun was setting over the three islands in the backdrop.

Everyone was there in a second, minus Bella and Jasper.

Good. I didn't want to see them, and I was sure that Rose wouldn't either. Rose would want to kill Bella for her part in things, so it was best she stayed away. I suppose it depended how Rose came out the other end. Would the experience completely change her? Sometimes it did.

I pressed my clammy hand to her forehead, just as Victoria appeared with a warm, fleece blanket to lie over her twitching body.

"Have you told Emmett?" I asked Carlisle, staring at her left hand, the wedding band placed firmly there. I brushed the earth from it.

"No, would you like me to do it?"

"Please," I nodded, looking down at the pale hand in my own, noting the texture was already changing from the outside in.

I sat watching her face slowly rearrange – unnoticeable almost, but my eyes were watching for any change. Her nose realigned itself slightly; she'd broken it when she was ten, leaving it slightly crooked. Her eyelashes grew a few extra millimetres, brushing her cheeks as they were closed. I stopped being able to feel her heart beating through her hand, but I could hear it in her chest, beating slowly, pumping the now slightly viscous blood through the prone body.

I heard Carlisle's conversation and Emmett's reactions. He had just woken up – he was angry.

If I knew Emmett, and I did, he'd be mad and thankful. He'd be livid at the whole situation in general. Bella was still unconscious upstairs, Jasper sitting beside her in the chair. I could hear his musings about them.

I was almost _angry _at the images that filled his dark mind, but then I didn't really care, because Bella was just a silly teenager.

_Yeah, tell yourself that._

I was really pissed that I couldn't read her mind. Every little thing out of her mouth made me wonder what thought process had gotten her there. I'd never met someone whose mind was impossible for me to read. I'd met people whose heads were hard to figure out, twisted and gnarled minds, broken and tormented ones, but I could still hear them. Bella was as silent as an inanimate object to me – a mystery. Maybe she was just too strange for me to understand.

I stayed with Rose until Emmett arrived; he was furious like I knew he would be. I could hear his raging thoughts from down the street as he approached. I could even hear his grinding teeth.

_One fucking night, Edward, one fucking night! _He fumed at me, his long, dark hair slicked back by his speed as he slipped past the other silent houses. He arrived at the house, knocking furiously on the door. When he reached us, he ripped my hand from hers and replaced it with his own firm, cold grasp.

_Fuck, Edward. What happened?_

I explained, while he rubbed circles on her palm. Rose was starting to sweat now, her heart beating more and more slowly. Her lips started turning blue, her breathing was stuttered, I could hear Emmett's worry and love, I needed to leave this room full of Emmett's tender thoughts; they seemed to be permeating the area, and they made me feel lonely and intrusive.

I went upstairs to see Bella for the silence she bought me. My footsteps creaked on the wooden steps, and I followed my feet back to the room where I first saw her, sweaty and snotty and sick – and I'd thought that she was beautiful. Her long, dark brown hair had stuck to her warm forehead, and her eyes held that kind of dulled reluctance to being ill. I'd talked to her in that annoying, condescending, adult-talking-to-a-dumb-child tone, of which snobbish teachers and professors seemed particularly fond. It pissed me off to no end when people used that tone with me; I was probably two or three times their age. I'd seen and done things they couldn't even imagine in their tiny, insipid, small town minds. It was the sort of tone that was characterised by plain, brown suits, matching brown waistcoats and unimaginative ties. Bella had just looked so red and little, swathed in the thick comforter on her big bed.

James and Victoria had been so worried – she'd only come down with a cold. They obviously had no idea what she'd been doing. I'd reacted too strongly – almost violently. I still didn't understand my anger. She'd just been there, pathetic on the bed, sick and vulnerable. She was like something that needed to be protected. And someone that innocent and vulnerable should not be doing something as _sleazy _as letting a man feed from her. The connotations to feeding were so sexual and intimate that I didn't believe she knew what she was getting into. I could never see her as _that girl, _the pay per pint donator.

Of course, I was also thrown by not hearing anything. It was strange and disconcerting, not knowing what she was thinking. That was my link to humanity, the minds of the humans around me and I'd reacted like the real me, disgusting and angry.

I was angry at their happiness. Why could I not have that? I'd never really wanted that; the wife and 2.4 children, but seeing them so concerned and that picture had gotten to me. I filed away my anger for another time as I pushed open the door.

Jasper was sitting in the chair next to the bed, touching her, holding her little hand.

I could hear him thinking about her when I walked into the room.

_Such beautiful clear skin, she's so shy about it. She's so beautiful…_

I coughed, surprised and uncomfortable; it was almost like he was having a 'moment' in his mind. His eyes were wide and shocked as he looked up to see me standing there. He was embarrassed that he'd been caught being so sentimental over the unconscious girl.

"How long's she been out?" I asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping as far from the sleeping figure in front of me as possible.

"Since you left for Rose." He didn't look at me as he spoke; instead he seemed to be memorising her prone body.

I was suddenly curious. I knew Jasper had a power; he could detect emotions. He sensed them like a mist, individual to each person. they were all around him, all the time, and he felt it hard not to be affected by them. When someone was feeling such strong emotions – like Emmett – he found it hard not to be affected, hence his strong feelings right now.

_You're covered in blood, you know._

"Shit. I better get cleaned up."

_Yeah, Rosalie might be a bit alarmed by that. Never know though, she might want to keep it… as like a memento. Never know with crazy bitches like that._

I coughed. "True. I'll… just leave you then…" I wandered off to find a shirt, feeling too lazy to return downstairs. I thought about sending James a message on his phone, but that was kind of ridiculous, right? So I just went and asked him if I could borrow some stuff.

I was really avoiding Emmett. And I may have been tired; I'd been up for almost twenty four hours straight. Shit, it had been a long day. I was almost jealous of Bella, asleep, oblivious to the aftermath of her silly accident.

***

Bella woke up when I fell asleep at the dinner table. James and Victoria were upstairs searching for clothes that would fit Rose. She was too busty for anything of Bella's – not that she would want anything of Bella's – ever. Carlisle and Esme were taking a nap in the guest room.

Jasper was with Bella. From his emotional assessment, I could tell she was feeling a strange mix of emotions. Guilt was featured heavily, the sombre grey tone to her mood, but there was a flourish of something else there – she was actually relieved.

Wow, maybe it was a good thing I couldn't read her mind. Well, I could guess. Glad it wasn't her. What a nice sentiment.

Bella stormed into the living room, swinging the door forcefully. Emmett was crashed on the opposite sofa, watching Rose's development from the other side of the room. His eyes were dark and heavy, tired as hell. Rose's heart had stopped beating a while ago, around one in the afternoon, her transformation the perfect twelve hours.

And god, she was perfect, even more beautiful than ever.

I think Emmett's tiredness was why he didn't stop Bella from going into the room. Rose's eyes opened and her nostrils flared at the wet, beating sound of Bella's heart, at her beautiful smell. I watched the whole thing from Emmett, before Rose's mind was again registering with my senses. And fuck, she was angry – livid, even.

I ran in there as fast I could, but Jasper was already moving in to protect Bella to her left, but not moving close enough to anger Rose any further.

Rose was already there in front of her, standing and stepping forward in one smooth motion. Emmett stood up to restrain her, and I moved into the room, positioning myself between Bella and Rose's bodies, although I may have been standing infinitesimally closer to Bella.

_Don't fucking let me touch that skank's blood, _Rose thought, as her nostrils flared again, breathing in Bella's lovely scent. _She smells wrong. And she tastes… hot and wet on the air, _Rose thought, her tongue flicking out like a snakes, experimenting with her new, enhanced senses.

I was surprised at that thought. What did she mean by wrong? She was remarking on the citrus smell of her. _Well she wasn't going to smell like __**real**_ _oranges, was she? _I thought to myself. It certainly wasn't a cheap imitation; it smelt amazing.

Bella wasn't to Rose's taste. Rose abhorred how she smelled – she really didn't fucking like Bella.

She wanted revenge.

"Rose, baby. It's best if we leave. You need some blood, we can ring Aro up for you," Emmett whispered in her ear. Rose nodded rigidly, her eyes never leaving Bella. Jasper's wide eyed gaze was flickering between the two women, his stance low and protective.

I could hear James and Victoria poised, waiting to see if this could be resolved without them. Their thoughts were tuned to Bella – they didn't much care about what Rosalie did; they'd rip her apart if they touched their daughter. That pissed me off. Rose wouldn't be that stupid, would she? She was volatile and new, full of anger about what had happened to her. She was completely and utterly devastated. She'd had a big human family, two younger brothers that she couldn't ever see again – but she'd keep an eye out for them. Her sharp mind had already processed that she'd have to watch them all grow old and die, have children she wouldn't ever be able to have. Rose saw it all as Bella's fault. She was determined to kill Bella, to strip away what Bella had taken from her.

I could tell that Rose had already determined her course of action. She would leave.

She held her head up high, regal and beautiful as the sun hit her through the window. She didn't wince at the force of it. Bella was shaking a little, a gentle vibration.

_Traitor! _Rose had been screaming at me, the whole fucking time I stood there.

Protecting Bella.

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_**AN:** Just thought I'd drop a line and ask you to review. Major thanks to Project Team Beta for Beta'ing this for me, you were sooo helpful, I don't pay attention to any of that stuff when I write._

_Also, just wondering, but what's your favourite incense smell? I'm a Nag Champa kinda gal. I like the patchouli ones and the normal ones…_


	4. LDF

**A/N: **sorry this took so long, I've got up to chapter 7 written already, it's just betaing that makes the gap. So yeah, thanks for all the lovely reviews. This chapter isn't really my favourite, but what can you do? Oh, and, my parents were gunna call me Tallulah, I _so _want that name, way better than Lana, haha.

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, damn. Except Tallulah, she's mine.

_**LDF – 100 monkeys**_

_Why do I care? No one calls on the goddamn phone._

_Well I've grown complacent, and no one knows I have feelings too._

_I feel this way, especially when I'm with you._

_You make me feel alone._

Rosalie was going to kill me. This was what my bones were telling me, right now. And I suppose my bones had been right so far.

I'd been such an idiot. I should have noticed the ring; I was a woman, we were supposed to notice those kinds of things, right? I _knew _Edward couldn't be married, wouldn't I have seen her when we visited at Christmas? The little unused kitchen could never belong to a house where a human lived. Come to think of it, I may even have seen a wedding or a family picture of Rosalie and that guy at his place. There had been few pictures, but there had definitely been one of the bear-like guy who had been sprawled on the sofa, and then holding her back when she got too close.

He had been as handsome as her, and Hulk-like in stature. I could see him turning green (the imaginative part of me, because I think he'd look really weird green) easily when angered. He'd not _seemed _mad about me killing his wife, though. He seemed like the kind of man able to rein in a fierce and terrifying woman like Rosalie (literally, too). He was handsome, but not in the sort of way I thought that someone like Rosalie would be attracted to.

Here I was, making assumptions about a man I'd only met a few minutes ago, and a woman I'd killed. Could I not tell from the fire in her bright, cold, blue eyes that she wasn't the dumb, platinum blonde slut I'd wanted her to be? She was cold and calculating, most definitely malicious and even worse, she was intelligent.

She'd left just now, the echo of the door still resounding against the walls, and with nobody to restrain me my knees gave way, shaking in fear and in mortification. Why was I such an idiot? An intense feeling of regret washed over my shaking body. My knees hit the hard, wooden floor with a dull thud. It stung, but I felt too numb to really feel it. I was still jittering. I could feel tears clouding my vision as I fell forward and lay on the cool ground, wanting to sink into it in shame. What had I done?

I'd been a selfish bitch, and gotten too drunk – I had a thudding headache to prove the latter. I'd been so jealous, and unthinking of the damage I could do. I was a clumsy ass sober, I was even clumsier in heels and drunk. I'd probably ruined James and Victoria's relationships with many of their friends. And, oh my god, could there have been others like Rosalie too, but they hadn't been saved.

What the fuck had I done?

I decided to cut as many ties to the vampire world then as possible. I didn't want anything to do with this. I just wanted to spend my life with someone who loved me and have a child or two, and I probably wouldn't ever be able to dump them on the grandparents, because they'd wonder why they were younger than me. I'd have to lie. This whole world was so fucked up, I couldn't even fathom the lies some of the people told to stay concealed, cover up their murder. And the sick thing was that vampires didn't even need to kill the victim. If they could save a life, why take it? But they were selfish, addicted to our blood, like I was addicted to them taking my own.

I was so pathetic.

I think it was some sort of validation, something that made me feel wanted after the abandonment I'd felt at the hands of my own family.

I lay on the floor for so long, I became numb, one half of my body falling asleep. If anyone tried to touch me, I flinched away from their cold hands. I could hear, through the vibrations in the floor, people reluctantly leaving. I didn't see anything; I just stared at the same pair of dirty but somehow shiny loafers that didn't appear to move as I watched the shoes hopelessly in my pathetic feelings of despair, shame and mortification, guilt and regret.

When the shoes finally moved, I felt cold hands slide under me and carry me away to my bedroom. The light had disappeared, and he whispered a gentle "goodbye" to me as he left the room; his hand seemed to hesitate when it had left my body. I thought of that as my staring eyes closed, and I drifted to sleep.

***

The fifth of January saw me returning to classes. I wasn't really there, walking silently from room to coffee shop to room and finally to my car. I didn't meet anyone new or talk to anyone. I engaged in the occasional debate in some of my classes when coerced.

I could feel my dreams slipping away with my falling grades. But all I could wonder was why I was being so pathetic. Rosalie wasn't exactly _dead,_ was she? Her heart didn't beat, but she still walked, talked and slept. It wasn't like she wasn't still here, was it? I just couldn't shake this feeling of wrongness from me. I suppose I was always like this, except before I didn't have a reason, I was just pathetic old me.

One day of many – I think it might have been a Wednesday, I returned to the dorms to find Angela in her room with somebody. I thought nothing of it till I started wandering around the kitchen preparing a paltry dinner, until I heard the low, timid moan and the squeak of springs. After the first noise I'd been on alert, not sure I'd heard anything, listening for someone who shouldn't be there. So I left, feeling lonely and jealous. Why didn't anyone want that from me? I looked alright, didn't I? I mean, I wasn't ugly, nothing special, but not ugly. There were girls that were far worse off out there.

My nose was small, in proportion. One of my lips was slightly bigger than the other, but that wasn't exactly that noticeable. My eyes were a muddy brown, just the same colour as my hair, perfectly unnoticeable and average, a genetic default. Unnoticeable and average, and that was me to a T.

Unsure of where to go, and with nothing much to do, I ambled down the roads until I found a restaurant that looked nice and not too pricey, one of those cutesy, modern Chinese places. As I pushed the door open, I felt another pang of loneliness hit, resenting that when they asked if it would be a table for one, I would say yes, and then to add insult to injury, a fleeting thought passed. Rosalie wouldn't ever be able to eat again, but I took some solace from the fact that she probably never ate anyway, with a gorgeous figure like that, now immortally frozen in the same image – She'd never have to miss lunch again. But here I was, making presumptions again. Maybe she was really fit, or naturally like that. If she was naturally like that, life was fucking unfair.

So I pushed the glass and chrome door open, lips twitching reluctantly at the happy, warm look of the place. I took a menu from a stand and had a look for vegetarian options. Eating anything – foreign stuff especially – was always hard. I'd never made a conscious decision to become vegetarian – one of my birth mother's fads had been vegetarianism around the time when I started eating solids. She'd never once put meat in my mouth. This was one of the few fads she'd stuck to. Other ones she'd given up included: Yoga, Buddhism, and motherhood.

I perused the menu for something that looked edible.

"Hello! Welcome to the Dew Drop Inn, A table for one, Miss?" The pretty, American Indian waitress asked me. She had a slight inflection to her words that was very endearing and dark, black hair that ran down her back in a thick plait, and smooth, russet skin.

"Oh, yes. Thanks," I said as I followed her to a tiny corner booth, set against the back wall. I sat down and placed my bag on the bench next to me, extricating my iPod and book and leaving them on the table. I wasn't reading anything particularly meaningful, just a distraction from the loneliness. The main character was strong, feminine, beautiful and powerful. She was alone, but she didn't let it get to her, she had a goal.

Well, she did have a talking cat with her.

Maybe I needed a goal, and then I wouldn't feel lonely like this. But what kind of goal did I need? Nothing I could think of was so great that I could concentrate on it solely, like this woman, ignoring every other twist and turn of my boring, meandering life. It was a plain existence, without many frills.

There was one interesting thing about me. I've lived with vampires for nearly nine years of my life. That was pretty unique, right? But I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't ever bring it up as a talking point, that one interesting thing about me.

I picked up the menu and chose a few things that looked nice. I could always take some home for later in the week.

My mouth was watering at the lovely smells coming from the kitchen, the sound of sizzling as things were fried and the harsh smack as things were chopped.

"Hi, I'm Leah, and I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order?" she asked, smiling at me gently with her large, white teeth that contrasted almost scarily with her beautiful russet skin.

"Yep," I said, picking the dishes from the menu as she nodded and took them down on her little black notepad. She stalked away to the loud, clattering kitchen just behind my head. The sounds were a strange juxtaposition with the calm lighting. The restaurant wasn't particularly busy. There was a man and a baby having an early dinner. The dark haired baby in the high chair was playing with a bowl of noodles, she picked up a bean sprout and looked at it curiously, intrigued by the odd little thing. I smiled at her when she looked at me, and she giggled right back. Her father looked at her proudly and smiled delightedly. She pointed a chubby little hand at me and waved. The father turned and looked at me and gave me a wide smile too. They both looked American Indian too; I think they might have even been glowing…

Leah returned with a pot of Green tea and a little cup. She poured me some then left. She stopped at the little girl's table and gave her a kiss before walking back to the kitchen.

I pressed play on my little purple iPod and opened my book up from the turned over corner.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I jumped.

I took the chunky thing out, looking at the screen and reluctantly opened the message.

_**Are you alright? I miss you. Where are you? You're not at the apartment. J**_

I'd been contemplating whether or not to text him back as my phone started buzzing more excitedly. Apparently I wasn't quick enough and Jasper had decided that he needed to stalk me. At least he made me feel wanted. Sometimes. So I quickly answered the phone.

"Bella, where are you? I've fucking missed you. I swear, I would have rung sooner but… you know how shit gets in the way,"

"Yeah," I said slightly dejectedly, feeling shitty that he was too busy with his other piece of ass to give me at least a text. "I'm at this Chinese restaurant, the Dew Drop Inn. Why?"

"I want to see you. What's the address?"

"I'm not sure. One sec," I hailed the waitress, and she gave me the address.

"Oh, ok. I know where that is. I'll be there in ten, ok?"

"Kay. Bye," I said, and clicked the end button. I stared at the phone in my palm for a while before a persistent patting on my knee disturbed me.

I looked down to see the little girl I'd been looking at earlier watching me. She was slightly unsure on her podgy feet.

"Tallulah!" she exclaimed, pointing to herself with a chubby finger. She lost her balance slightly and I reached out steadying her gently. She pronounced the last syllable in a gust of air, barely noticeable. She clearly had trouble saying her name.

"Hello Tallulah. I'm Bella. Does your daddy know you're here?" I was slightly concerned, but I looked up and saw her father hovering nearby, keeping an eye out. He was huge, like… unbelievably tall, and very, very young.

"Up!" she demanded. I laughed at her insistence and confidence. Her curly black hair was bobbing on her head as she bent her knees and tried to jump, but she couldn't quite take off. I looked at her father and he nodded, grinning widely, again showing me his impressive teeth. I reached down to pick her up under her arms and placed her on my knee.

"How old is she?" I asked him, looking up from her face.

"Oh she's eighteen months. She really likes you, I think. I know you're probably thinking I'm really young, but I'm the uncle, your waitress is her mom," he said, edging closer and standing next to the table.

"Hey, Tallulah," he called, "what sound does a ninja make?" I bent my head to see the little girl's face over her shoulder as she scrunched it up in concentration, her arm moved and chopped down as she made a loud _acha _sound. I grinned down at her little face and giggled with her at the silly noise she'd made.

"So, you're Bella, right? I'm Seth. I taught her that, by the way." He grinned at me.

"Oh really, what other tricks do you do Tallulah?"

She looked at me and opened her toothy mouth.

"_Moo!"_ she cried. We all laughed with her.

"Is it alright if I sit here? We're not intruding at all, are we? It's just she's very demanding,"

"No, no. Not at all, my friend is coming in a couple of minutes but he's amazing with children. He knows all those silly rhymes, you know like _down the ditch, _and _all the little Piggies went to market_."

"She loves the teddy bear thing."

"Oh really?" I said, glancing down at her palm. She offered it to me – wow. Had she been paying attention to the whole conversation? Or did she just really like the teddy bear thing? I put my finger to her palm and gently ran it over the plump ridges. Her hand was lovely and soft.

"Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…" I sang slowly as my pointer finger tickled her palm. "One step…" My fingers made a jump up her arm to her elbow. "Two Step…" They jumped to her armpit. "Tickly under there!" I shouted, tickling her armpit. She writhed in my hands and clapped excitedly, giggling so loudly it seemed to light the whole restaurant up. Her small body slipped over my knees, but I held onto her tightly and sat her back up. She commanded me to do it another three times until she was breathless and couldn't stop her high pitched giggling. Both Seth and I were laughing loudly, when Leah came and delivered my food.

"Tallulah, are you annoying the nice lady? Have you finished your dinner? You know that you don't get pudding if you don't eat all your noodles." She smiled at me apologetically, placing the plates down. She shot Seth an irritated glance and he just shrugged, his black eyes locked on the little girl in my arms.

"No, no. It's no bother, not at all. In fact, I might even come back to see this little one," I said genuinely. The little girl clapped and smiled at me.

"We're here all week," Seth joked.

"You better not be!" Leah called as she headed back to the kitchen.

"Here, give me your cell and I'll text you next time we come in." He passed me his cell and I tapped my number in and handed it back to him.

"What's your surname?"

"Swan."

"Oh! Are you related to James and Victoria?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I'm their daughter," I said uncomfortably.

"Woah. I didn't know they had such a pretty daughter." I looked up at him, taken aback by the compliment, and my cheeks flushed red. Seth just smiled at me, said bye and took little Tallulah away. She insisted on giving me a hug, she tucked her little head into my chest and exclaimed that I smelled nice, before returning to her table with her uncle.

I started on my delicious food. The tofu in ginger was… amazing. There was no other word to describe the awesome. I checked the clock on my phone, and thought that Jasper must have gotten lost – which was very unlike him.

I knew Seth had been flirting with me just then, or maybe he was just very friendly. It didn't matter. I decided I liked him very much.

I was starting on my noodles as Jasper walked through the door, looking around the room for me. I raised a hand and waved him over.

"Hello you! Wow, you're happy! What happened?" he said, pulling me up and away from my food into a hug. He manoeuvred his head to give me a kiss, and then thought better of it as he smelt the food on my breath.

"Uh, I hate human food." He exclaimed rather loudly. At the same moment, I saw both Jasper and Seth's heads flash towards each other.

"_Wolf," _Jasper muttered. There was a long history of hatred between the two supernatural sects. I rolled my eyes at his animosity and looked at him.

"You better not start something. I like him, he's nice." Truly, I didn't care if he was a wolf. Victoria and James had mentioned them before, but I'd been rather wary of whatever they said, because they never mentioned them in a good way.

"Hmmm, is that why you're so happy?" I thought I could see a glimmer of jealousy in his eyes.

"That little girl just came over and played with me for a good ten minutes, she's so cute. It kind of makes me broody," I admitted. Jasper looked at me, slightly taken aback by my admission; I suppose I didn't really seem like the type.

"I get that all the time. Alice really wants kids," he sighed. I looked away, uncomfortable that their relationship was like that and I was his little bit on the side. He was staring at the little girl, now. She pointed at him and made a frighteningly… did she just _growl _at him? I heard Seth laugh and saw Jasper smile. I looked away and ate my dinner, highly amused and still slightly uncomfortable about Jasper talking about Alice like this in front of me. He didn't talk to her about me like this (probably because we weren't like that), why did he have to do it? It just made me feel like such a bitch.

I finished off my food and stacked the plates so that it would be easier for Leah to come get them.

"So yeah… what's up with you?" I asked just to be pleasant. I didn't really want to know.

"Oh, Alice moved in with me. She's so energetic. I swear she sleeps less than I do."

"Mm. Cool." I fiddled with my phone.

"But yeah, so she's completely rearranged the flat. Next time you come round, you'll be so surprised."

My head shot up. Next time? They fucking lived together now; I wasn't going to go round his _like that_ ever again. He wasn't going to take my blood. I was getting away from this vampire shit.

"Next time? You live together you... That's like… wrong. Jasper, I'm getting out. There is nothing left between us. You have Alice and I have nothing. Can't you see, you feel so much more for her; I don't want to be that girl on the side. Please just… ugh; all this crap is too much for me." I was upset because we'd been so close. I'd told him about my real parents, and he had, in turn, made me feel wanted. Now I felt dirty. Our time sullied by the thought that he was in love with Alice and he'd only wanted me physically.

"Fine, Bella. If you feel like that, fine. I'll see you around. You know you'll always be my friend. By the way, Edward won't answer his phone, just thought you'd want to know." He was angry, his soft Texan twang coming through clearer than normal. My head shot up as he spoke about Edward. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He spat. "Well, listen to this. Listen to me tell you that I told Alice about you, this, us, _from the very beginning. _She said that as long as we were both happy, it was alright. I knew you needed this, that's why I fucking kept it going!" He was standing now, looking down at me with his fiery, seawater eyes. "And you taste delicious too." He leered, "Alice told me to tell you to go see Edward. She knows these things. It's her power or something – its so strong it's coming through as she's human. She's amazing Bella, like you. Believe that, because I know you don't. Just please, remember to believe that," he was speaking more softly. "She told me that Edward was upset about something to do with you, and… She gave me this to give to you. Goodbye, Bella."

I watched him leave, his long, irate strides beautiful and graceful.

"Bye bye!" Tallulah called cheerfully after him.

I looked down at the piece of yellow paper he'd thrown onto the table and opened it.

_He needs you._

Beneath the message was Edward's address.

**A/N: **OH, everyone who reviews, gets this Vampire fact file I made, for these vampires :)


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